How to choose the right sex toy
Choosing the right sex toy can feel daunting with so many options, materials and features to consider. The key is prioritising body safety, comfort and personal preference rather than trends or marketing claims. In this article we explore expert advice and practical tips to help you make an informed decision.
Understanding what you want
Before clicking “buy”, take a moment to think about why you want a sex toy and what you hope to experience with it. Are you curious about external stimulation, or are you exploring internal play? Is this for solo use, or something you and a partner might use together? Starting with your own intentions can make the process less overwhelming.
Choosing a sex toy is a personal choice, and there is no single toy that is ideal for everyone. For many people new to intimate products, starting with simpler designs can be more inviting and less intimidating.
Why materials matter for safety
One of the most important factors in choosing a sex toy is the material it is made from. Some substances can harbour bacteria or contain harmful chemicals.
Reputable sexual health groups emphasise that body-safe materials such as medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel and glass are non-porous and easier to clean, reducing the risk of irritation or infection.
Sexologist Suzann Larsdotter suggests choosing products that avoid potentially harmful additives. She says, “Choose products that do not contain phthalates, a substance used to soften plastics and which can be endocrine disruptors.”
Avoid toys made of cheap jelly or PVC unless you are prepared to use a condom over them, as these materials can be porous and difficult to sanitise properly.
Basic types of sex toys
Sex toys come in many forms, but some common categories include:
Vibrators: Devices that use vibration to stimulate external or internal areas.
Non‑vibrating toys: Such as traditional dildos, useful for tactile exploration.
Anal toys: Designed specifically for anal play, typically with a flared base for safety.
Couples’ toys: Designed to be used during shared intimacy.
Experts advise starting with a toy suited to your comfort level. Simple, straightforward options are often recommended for beginners because they are less likely to overwhelm.
Choosing size and shape
Your body is unique, so size and shape should reflect your personal comfort and anatomy rather than what you see in adverts. A toy that feels good for one person might be uncomfortable for another.
Sexual health services recommend considering whether you want external stimulation, internal play, or a blend of both. Smaller toys are often gentler and easier to use, while larger or more complex designs may require some familiarity.
Using lubricants correctly
Lubricant is an essential accessory for most sex toy use. It reduces friction and increases comfort. Experts generally advise using water‑based lubricants with silicone toys, as silicone‑based lubes can degrade the surface of silicone products.
Choosing the right lube makes a big difference in both safety and pleasure. Always check that the lubricant is compatible with the toy material and any condoms you might use.
Buying from reputable sources
It is worth spending time on reputable shops and established retailers rather than random marketplaces. Reliable sellers will provide clear information about material safety and care, and should be transparent about product construction.
Sex toy safety guidance highlights the importance of shopping from trusted sources to avoid hidden or misleading material descriptions.
Cleaning and hygiene
Once you have chosen a toy, how you clean and store it matters for both durability and hygiene. Toys should generally be cleaned before and after use with warm water and mild soap or a toy‑specific cleanser.
Non‑porous materials such as silicone, glass and steel can be easier to sanitise. Porous materials may harbour bacteria even after cleaning, which is why they are best avoided or used with a condom.
Keep toys completely dry before storage and store them in clean, dry pouches or cases to avoid dust or bacterial growth.
Comfort and personal experience
Ultimately, the right sex toy for you is the one that makes you feel comfortable, safe and curious to explore. There is no shame in experimentation or in trying multiple types before finding what clicks for you.
Dr Lien Nguyen, a medical doctor specialising in sexual health, explains that choosing a toy can be part of broader wellbeing: “When chosen carefully, sex toys can enhance both physical and emotional wellbeing. They help people connect to their needs, reduce anxiety around sex, and build confidence in their own bodies.”
Common mistakes to avoid
Some common pitfalls when choosing a toy include:
- Buying the cheapest toy without checking materials.
- Neglecting to check compatibility with lubricants.
- Ignoring cleaning and storage guidance.
Taking a moment to think about these factors will pay off in comfort, safety and long‑term satisfaction.
Frequently Asked Question
1. How do I choose the right sex toy if I am a beginner?
Start with a small, simple toy made from a body‑safe material like silicone. Focus on what kind of sensation you want rather than complex features.
2. What materials should I avoid?
Avoid porous and potentially harmful materials such as cheap jelly, PVC or toys with phthalates, unless used with a condom.
3. Can I use any lubricant with my sex toy?
No. Water‑based lubricants are generally safe with most materials. Silicone‑based lubes can damage silicone toys, and oil‑based products can degrade condoms.
4. How should I clean my sex toy?
Clean before and after use with warm water and mild soap or toy‑specific cleaner. Non‑porous materials are easiest to sanitise.
5. Is price a good indicator of quality?
Not always. Price can reflect materials and design quality, but always check material safety and shop from reputable sources.
Choosing the right sex toy means balancing comfort, safety and personal preferences. By understanding materials, toy types and cleaning practices, you can make a choice that feels right for your body and your wellbeing.
